Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I can't wait till Fall

I hope you just watched that video, and I hope you watched the whole thing. Yeah, the whole fucking thing. Because if you didn't then oh boy do I have an issue with you, because if I had to watch it then so do you, that's just how it works around here.

And if you don't think this is going to be a big hit this Fall you're a moron, I mean come on. Just look at that trailer, Aliens, Stupid names only a 12 year old could come up with, terrible jokes no one even laughs at and shitty acting.

What more could you ask for? It's not like it'll be as bad as The Office or Seinfeld, both those pieces of garbage don't even stand up to this piece of comic genius. Honestly, if you sat down in the screening room, watched any of the footage or even read the script for this show how could you NOT think it's a good idea. It's not like we expect anything good from these studios anymore after all those horrible shows that got cancelled this year. And why would you not want to air this show, it's not like you want to keep your reputation for good shows, why would you want a reputation for that.

Personally I'd rather run a studio that's know for spitting out pieces of garbage everyone hates that get cancelled after only five minutes after the pilot airs. But let me know what you think, because I know you guys like to spew your own garbage down there in the comment section as well.

I'm sorry, I just cannot get over how anyone thought this was a good idea. Really, how did they not just read the first paragraph of the script and throw it out. How did they manage to get to filming and how did they not just scrap the project after seeing the first 30 seconds of filming. I just can't get it through my head how they managed to sneak this into the studio with no one seeing how awful it is.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Why buy a Ford Focus over a Honda Civic

I know what you readers out there are thinking, you're looking at all these new cars and trying to decide what the best choice for your next purchase is. I get that. I also get that a lot of people are trying to decide between the Ford Focus and the Honda Civic and that's a hard decision to make.

Now, though I do understand your concerns and get the question itself, what I don't understand is why you're asking me to answer it for you. I mean, did you even look at the content of this blog? We're not very informed on this kind of subject.

So really, I think you'd be more interested in hearing what we have to say about computers and the like. So here's Marty Chang to help you all out.

And after watching that I understand that a lot of you still have unanswered questions like why new monitors don't have internet vents, why you need to use chunky peanut butter over regular or how to get your printer working while drunk.

Newer monitors have forgone the internet vents in exchange for more optimized wallpapers and more colors. They also had to remove them in order to fit more squares for those extra colors to fit in. And if you're seriously asking me how to get your printing working while drunk you're a fucking moron. The printer didn't drink the beer, are you stupid? The beer just pours through to clear out all that ink that clogs down the motors.

And for those of you wondering why you can't use regular peanut butter here's why

Now have fun out that everyone, and remember to stop asking questions about cars, they don't belong here.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Motherfuckers Day

I hope you watched that video before reading this, because if you didn't you're even more retarded than that girls mother. And just because today is mothers day we included a video that shows just how mad a mother can get over nothing.

This girls mom found out that her daughters picture, which was taken from a site her mother hosted, was being used to make fun of people who are mentally challenged (Retarded for those of us who don't give a shit). So instead of just telling her daughter to ignore it and all that jazz she decided to make it even more widely known that her daughter is a massive joke and encourage more people to make fun of her.

And don't give me that 'She looks beautiful,  I don't know what you're talking about retards make me hot' bullshit, because we both know what she is and there's no reason we can't be civilized about this. This girl could have just went on and ignored this but instead her mom decided to involve the media and somehow place the blame on Facebook, saying Facebook is responsible for this entire thing happening and that Facebook should shut down websites that host these pictures.

But I must say, I had no idea Facebook was in charge of the internet, I didn't even know they had the power to take down websites at will and control all sorts of off the hook shit. Also, the movie Mars Needs Moms just started playing on my tv and this movie already looks dumb as fuck so I'm gonna get out of here and change this stupid shit before I get mad.


And I put those pictures in because I just realized it was a lot of text and needed some more visuals since I know all you viewers out there are just as down-syndromey as that girl and will lose attention before you even see this paragraph.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Drakes not getting any Pussy

When you're getting down and freaky with your girl you usually use the front of your face right, not the back? Unless you want to wreck that shit I guess. But this guy went crazy so when his girl fucks him from behind she can see the man that makes her wet.

That's right, this man gave his girl the chills when he turned away from her and she saw none other than the Drake himself on the back of his head. This near picture perfect depiction of him was so realistic it almost made her cream her pants right then and there.

And since I don't give a fuck who Drake is or what kind of shitty music he makes, which I assume is rap, here's some snoop dog guy.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

You can't stop the Juice

Today you're going to hear about a man. Not an ordinary man by any means, but an amazing man with powers beyond belief. This man doesn't try to stop the juice, he doesn't fight the juice. No. He embraces the juice head on. Or rather, he embraces the juice with his head or more specifically his mouth.

Yeah, I'm talking about semen, sperm, gonad goulash, spunk, a load of coconut milk and sometimes even a shot of whiskey as I call it. So it's up to you, the viewer, to decide on how this is going to go down. You can either let this man show you how things go down in the real world. Or you can run away, scared and tired, too afraid to face him and overcome your fears.

The choice is yours.

For those of you that are still reading and were able to handle that big helping of reality this man just handed to you I congratulate you. You survived and pushed on, you proved you're not a bitch and I thank you my friend, you're helping make the world better one gay sex rap video at a time.

Monday, May 7, 2012

The Master Race has Returned

Well guys, it looks like it's time to start posting here again. I've got nothing better to do with my time and I'm no longer feeling lazy so I guess I'll throw together some garbage for you to all eat up.

Or will I? I just realized our whole audience is nothing but members of the true Master Race* so why not give you what you need. It may almost be summer but it's still springtime for me, and that means it's springtime for Hitler too. So lets get to the point and give you what you want. No, what you deserve. For you are, THE MASTER RACE*.

Also, the bitch in the right of this picture is obviously not a part of the Master Race because she looks like a fucking MAN. I mean seriously, this bitch has some real meat hooks for hands. She's probably got a bigger dick than any man I know. Does she look like a man to you guys too? Because I honestly can't figure her/him out.

Guess I should throw this in since I just realized this is article is #101. And do you know how many dalmatians there were? ONE HUNDRED AND ONE, that's right. A fucking spooky coincidence right there, don't you think?

And if anyone can tell me how to make the spacing between lines smaller like for the spacing in the disclaimer below, please tell me.

*Disclaimer: Master Race refers solely to members of the human race born on the planet Earth with proper genitalia that may be used for reproduction by either creating eggs or sperm and you, the reader, may or may not actually be part of the this Master Race. If you are not a part of the Master Race as described then you may not read this article or watch the included video clip. Please refrain from commenting on this article if you are not part of the Master Race and allow your overlords (members of the Master Race) to do as they please with your women and/or men. Also, if you have any peanut butter please mail it to me as my dog is getting very hungry.